Tuesday, June 03, 2008

Bay to Breakers

This morning at around 10:15 near the halfway point of Bay to Breakers at Fell and Cole, while taking pictures to send back home to my Dad, as I have done in previous years, I was grabbed by a short man who, for lack of a better description, began rubbing his crotch against my leg while he yelled, "Aw, yeah baby, dry hump Olympics!!!!" His cohorts surrounded us and laughed. After about fifteen seconds, the shock wore off, and I told him to get the fuck away from me before I kicked his ass. "Aww, we're just trying to have some fun, I can't believe it..." he said, or something like that, and then the insult to injury: one of his buddies held up a cardboard sign and said "five point seven". Because they were rating the looks of the women they assaulted (or how we reacted???), on a scale of one to ten, for the "Dry Hump Olympics" and had corresponding numbered scorecards. Get it? OMG, like, how totally hilarious! I just LOVE being assaulted, demeaned, and degraded - it's so much fun!!!

Thanks for ruining my day, dickheads. On a scale of one to ten for humanity, I give you a zero. As far as douchebags go, you're fucking exemplars, totally off the scale. We're talking unchartered territory.

Photo by Kellie Parker.

Submitted by Allyson in San Francisco.

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