On a beautiful Sunday several months ago after brunching at Il Forniao in Levi Plaza, my girlfriend and I decided to take a walk up the Filbert steps nearby to see the parrots and work off some calories. I’m very familiar with the area and the birds as I live in the city and have done freelance work with clients in this area for over 10 years.
At the top of the steps is a large tree that the flock was hanging out in. We’re smiling and watching them as other folks are coming and going enjoying the birds as well. At one point, my girlfriend and I were the only ones there. It’s then that we notice a guy standing in his open apartment window, naked. At first he walked by the window and I thought...whoops. Ok. Dude in his apartment not noticing he is visible to others. Then we both notice that not only is he naked, he is sporting a boner and stands in the window, leaning on the sill. This is no accident. Wonderful. Just what I want after brunch. He proceeds to stand there gazing at us with his boner fully visible. We try to ignore and enjoy the day, the view and the parrots.
He steps partially behind a yellow curtain or something and starts jacking off. The boner was gone when he steps over to the window again. We decided we had had enough and proceed to leave. My girlfriend shouts up...”Do you do this often?” in an attempt to shame him. As we head down the stairs, we wave and give him the finger.
Well, last Sunday we had brunch at Fog City and take a walk up the stairs to work it off and check for parrots. No parrots, but dickhead was walking around naked again despite the fact that 2 elderly gents were at the top near the tree looking at the view and a neighbor one house over was in his garden working. Apparently, this is what he likes to do on Sunday. We didn’t give him any notice this time. Since others were around, we’re thinking this guy just likes to jerk off in public in front of anyone, male or female. Yegads.
Since this dude lives there, it can’t be the first (or second) time this has happened. It’s clearly a habit. He lives on the second floor of the blue building. He MUST be doing this to neighbors or they surely MUST be seeing some of this. Why haven’t they called cops? Next time we have brunch down there, we’re bringing the digital camera and capturing this asshole on film since neither of us has a camera cell phone.
I’m also going to look into what the police can do about this despite the fact that he’s in his own home. There have to be some laws around standing there flogging it in your window when you are visible to others. Moms with little kids go up there, tourists galore go up there, to see the parrots since all the... Ahem... ‘exposure’ due to the movie “Wild Parrots of Telegraph Hill”. Not exactly a boon to tourism.
Be warned if you go up there to see the parrots. You’re going to see a whole lot more.