Subway Blues

I used to take the Muni Metro underground to work every day for the past year and a half. I only go 2 stops and even when it is crowded I squish in to the car and get to work twice as fast as I would on an above-ground bus.
Then last week I squish in as usual, moving my back to my front to make room and I settle in for the short ride.
I felt something pressing against my back side and at first I thought it was someone's briefcase or backpack, but when I turned to look the man behind me abruptly turned away and moved into the crowded car.
I have heard many women tell stories of men on the subway rubbing up against them, and now I know how confusing and disorienting it is on a crowded commute train.

I wish I had had quicker reflexes or figured out what was happening before it was too late and he was gone into the crowd. I am now careful to either wait for the less crowded train or to keep my bag on my back, even if it takes up space, because if trying to give people more space means some creep can move into mine, I am not having it.

Submitted by Jessica in San Francisco.

Day in SF

I was driving on 43 ave in SF and making a left turn onto Sloat. A burgundy older model Toyota or Honda was making a u-turn. We crossed paths and the car stops in front of me. I wave to them to go and the driver pulls along side me and stairs at me with a really dirty look on his face. I stair back and say WHAT! He and the other passengers in the car all laugh at me the driver then calls me a stupid bitch. I flip them off and yell fuck you. He then tells me to suck his balls. I left this situation feeling attacked and angry. I had done nothing to deserve this. I wish I had said "what balls?" I felt I had not said enough. I was angry all day and felt frustrated that it had ruined my day when this ass hole probably didn't give it a second thought. I wish i had gotten a picture of this jerk.

Submitted by Nicole in SF

Lifeguard Blues

I took a lifeguard training class this last semester at Laney College and
got certified. Unfortunately there was a creep in my class. One time I was a
drowning victim and he and someone else were supposed to be saving me, while
my hands were held above my head and I couldn't move them he slid his hands
down both sides of my body and tried to pretend he was just trying to help
me. I let this slide because it was quick. Next, towards the end of class I
had my bathing suit straps pulled to the side a little so I could get some
sun under where the straps usually are. As I'm wading in the pool he reaches
and grabs my strap and puts his hand on me while eagerly pushing through the
water. "Your straps..." I just said "no." Then he would linger after classes
to see what I was doing. This guy was a shitty student who had no idea what
he was doing the whole time and was so stupid. I wouldn't be surprised if he
took the class just to be with girls in their suits. I warned my teacher
that if anything went down, like my elbow breaking his nose, that it would
be because of him trying to touch me again. Unfortunately he came very
close... but for some reason stopped himself just before I felt the urge to
backhand him.

Submitted by Monica in Oakland

On the Bus

A long time ago when I was taking the bus to work a guy made a comment of
sexual nature about my tattoo then said I look like "that chick from
Charlie's Angels." I tried to explain to him why I didn't want to talk to
him and why his comments weren't welcomed.
Once he realized he wasn't
getting anywhere he just stood there and called me a bitch, that I needed to
suck a good dick then I wouldn't be so uptight, etcetera. I saw my bus, put
my bike on the front and realized that he made no motion to get on the same
bus as me. As I got on he continued talking shit, I turned around and spat
on his shirt. I really thought he was going to jump on the bus and I would
have to stab him with my house keys.
He just stood and asked the bus driver
helplessly "Did you see that? What are you going to do?" "I saw what you
were doing, I'm not going to do anything," she said, and closed the doors. I
was lucky to not be arrested that day, and afterwards I still cried because
I hate those situations, but afterwards I finally didn't have all those
scenarios of what I should have done or said running through my head. I had
a pretty good feeling he did, though, and that made me feel good too.

Submitted by Monica in Oakland.

Cautionary Tale: Ruphenol

A few years ago (2001 maybe -- I remember Ann Richards of Texas had just died), a bunch of girlfriends & I attended a YMCA event at the SF waterfront. After, some of us went to a nearby restaurant for food & wine and ended up chatting with a small group of unctuous but friendly men there. One them was a small-time wannabe SF politician who was running for Board of Directors for the SF-Brisbane Municipal Utility District. I think one of them was a small-time drug dealer (I put a lot of the pieces together later).

In a collossal act of poor judgement (I had recently gone through a painful breakup from a relationship so wasn't thinking clearly), I went out for another drink with two of these guys when my girlfriends called it a night. I had just one drink with these guys, and the wannabe small-time politico guy (let's call him Joe) slipped a dose of ruphenol into my drink (roofies, the date-rape drug). He did it when I went to the rest room. (Another act of monumental foolishness: I had left my drink with these guys for a moment.)

How do I know he did that? I added up the clues later.

When I returned from the restroom I took a sip of my drink; it tasted kind of weird and I didn't finish it. I remember thinking it tasted slightly salty and looked a little bit foamy. One of the guys was older (late 50s-early 60s) and is a local businessman; I don't know if he was in on what his pal was doing. We all left the bar, and the businessman went off on his own. Joe bummed a ride from me. Getting into the car, I felt nauseated & like I was going to pass out. I NEVER get that way from drinking, and I hadn't had much to drink. Felt like my head was hit by a sledgehammer.

He kept trying to fondle and grope me in the car. At one point he had his dick out of his pants. I had no idea what was going on; I was like a zombie, which is so frightening. Finally he kind of gave up trying to get his rocks off and ordered me to drive (in my condition!). He had me drive him up to Van Ness near Sutter, and then he hopped out of my car at a red light. I immediately turned down an alley, parked my car and passed out. Several hours passed, and then I started to kind of come to and wonder what the hell was wrong with me. Finally, around sunrise I managed to drive home, and spent the entire day in bed, too nauseated to move. I spoke with someone at a rape trauma center and we determined it must've been ruphenol.

All in all, I was very lucky for having been so careless. Please be more vigilant than I was that night. By the way, I looked him up on the internet back then, and I'm pretty sure his website said something about his wife being very ill with cancer. What a nice guy.

Some Advice on Cabs

What this post is really about is cab drivers. I know after a long night of drinking in the rowdy clubs of SF a clean, warm cab feels like the safest place ever but this is not necessarily so. Understand that cabs are leased out to drivers, drivers are independent agents. Some are awesome and friendly, some are just downright dangerous. I have had two friends in the last year who were violently attacked and raped by cab drivers. In the second attack , the cab driver actually stopped to pick up accomplices in the assault. It's horrifying to think about but it's a reality.

Do NOT ride alone in a cab, especially at night, and ESPECIALLY if intoxicated. Don't let your guard down you are essentially riding with a stranger. Cabpool with your girlfriends.

Cheers and be safe San Francisco!!

Submitted by June from San Francisco

Sf Stories

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Masturbating on BART

I was on an early train to Oakland Airport this last Saturday. I was kinda
dazed out, but aware of my surroundings, since I had to get off the train
soon. So, I get this eerie feeling that someone is looking at me. Across
from me is a guy who is looking dead at me. I think to self "oh, we caught
eachother's eye... oh well..." but I still had the weird feeling- I look
over and he is looking at me and "adjusting" himself. I gave him the benefit
of the doubt and considered it an akward moment. But, my instincts wouldn't
quit- I looked at the reflection in the window and saw him masterbating
while blatently staring at me and making noises! I gave the ol' "Fuck off"
look and moved seats. Not only did he continue to stare at me, but this
fucker had the nerve to get up and try to start a conversation with me...
even tried to ask to sit next to me! I told him to go fuck himself (which he
already was in the process of doing) and he still tried... I told him to
"Get the Fuck outta here!". Oh but wait... when my stop finally arrived, I
saw him scurry away from the clear doors that seperate the BART cars- he had
been watching me from the other Bart Car!!! If I had a Camera I would have
broken it in his face. VERY SORRY THERE IS NO PIC OF THIS ASSHOLE!!!

Grocery Store Attempt

I go to the Pak N Save at 40th and San Pablo to shop, this time my boyfriend
was wandering about the store when this guy asked if he could get my phone
number at the checkout counter. It was really sad because this guy stank of
drink and it was barely noon.

Submitted by Monica in Oakland

harassment from San Luis Obispo

On March 13, 2007, in broad daylight, I walked the final block to my car alone, after leaving a friend. We were walking to our cars in downtown SLO in broad daylight after leaving our job at the Court. We have had numerous training sessions in personal safety etc due to the nature of our job. I was aware if my surroundings and felt confident I was not followed to my car. However, as I climbed into my van and was setting down my purse with my right hand and simultaneously reaching for the door with my left, a man suddenly appeared blocking me from closing my door. I did not have the presence of mind to take a photo, but I got a real good description of him as his face was very close.

He said “I don’t want to embarrass you but I noticed when you were walking that your slip was showing”. I paused and froze, trying to assess if this was some really lame pick up line or if her was just really stupid to approach a woman at her car, alone and discuss her undergarments. He stood leaning in to the door of my car with his cell phone (black and silver flip phone) open and near his right ear as if he had been talking to someone. As he spoke he held it away from his head. He then said “It’s a very beautiful slip, do you mind if I ask you about it?” Again, I was still frozen and thinking what my options were, realizing he had me trapped. He then stumbled over his words a bit and said”…I’d like to get one for my girlfriend…is it a half slip or full slip”. I looked at as if he were nuts, told him “half slip” and he backed up a little as I lunged for my car door, shut it, locked it and looked in the review mirror. He had disappeared. I started my car & backed up out of the parking space as fast as I could and looked around and saw him no where to be found. He had vanished as quickly as he had appeared. Here is his description:

Medium Build, 5’11ish, 25-30 yrs old, blond/sandy blond short hair (crew cut), blue eyes, looked as if he had been out in the sun, fair skin, no jewelry or piercings, looked “clean-cut” and at first I thought he was a college student. He wore a dark blue/black t-shirt and possibly jeans (but I didn’t get a good look as he was leaning into the car). He had no noticeable accent or anything else distinctive.

I reported the incident to the local police and my job. After sharing this with my friends and coworkers we discovered other people had similar experiences. An article posted today in the Tribune, the local San Luis Obispo county paper, where they have picked up on our name for him “the slip stalker”.

I wanted to log this on your site because the details in the article don’t include the man’s description and leave out some of the details that I think show the man has become bolder since his other incidents.


Submitted by Cindy in San Luis Obispo

Creepy

he looks at every girl's ass. no joke.

Submitted by Miss Electric in Oakland

Halloween 2006

On Halloween 2006, my boyfriend and friend and I were
unlocking our bikes outside of a party when I felt a hand on my ass.
Before I could even turn around to see who had done it, my boyfriend
had pushed the man down on the ground so hard that he knocked over one
or two of his friends (it was a group of four guys) and hit his head
on the sidewalk.

The guy who had been pushed threw a can at my boyfriend's head and
started to come towards to fight, but his friends grabbed him and had
to drag him all the way across the street. I grabbed my heavy bike
lock, and holding it like a weapon, yelled at him that he wasn't
allowed to fucking touch me. Meanwhile my friend used her cell phone
to call the cops (who didn't answer). The guy made like he was going
to come back across the street, but we quickly rode away.

Fuck all these guys.

Submitted by Megan in San Francisco

Old Story

A few years ago when I was still new to the city, my mother
was visiting. The two of us and one man were the only ones riding the
bus one night at about 9pm downtown. At the last stop on the line, the
man walked up to the front of the bus, then turned around and came to
the rear exit where we were waiting to get off. As the door opened he
pushed past me "hurrying to get off the bus", and rubbed his crotch
roughly against my body.

I was horrified, but I couldn't think of an appropriate response that
wouldn't have made my mother flip out. (She is dreadfully worried
about me and my safety, past the point I think mothers usually take
it.) Instead, I turned and scowled at him as he went down the BART
stairs. He actually SMILED at me as I shot him my nastiest look.

The worst part about the story was the very next day we passed him on
the street in an entirely different part of town. I thought I would
never have to see him again, and seeing him the very next day felt
like someone punching me in the gut. He smiled at me again, and I've
seriously never been as paralyzed with anger/fear. I was so pissed
that I missed a second opportunity to call him an asshole.

One of the worst

This was one of the worst encounters I had ever met. This man saw me and my three friends walking towards BART. He immediately stopped in front of us to tell us how good we looked, and asked us what race we all were. We obviously were rushing to BART and as we went down the stairs, ignoring him. He put out his hands from side to side and basically stood on front of us so it as if we were trapped. I told him if he didn't move, I'd rip him a new asshole. Him being drunk responded with "Who are you calling a asshole? I'm not an asshole. I'm being nice to you girls.". As we were going through the BART terminals, he was drunkenly trying to hop over them. I took the picture. How could I not? He was being ridiculous. He then yelled at us until we went all the way to the train. It was fucking annoying. If you go to 24th and Mission, watch out for this asshole.

Submitted by Miss Electric in San Francisco.

Report these guys!

I too have been harassed by guys at construction sites, driving company trucks, doing landscaping, or otherwise in the middle of their workday. Get their description, note where you are and the time, get a license plate if possible, and CALL THE EMPLOYER AND FOLLOW UP WITH A LETTER. Tell them you will never hire them, will tell all your friends not to hire them (if that's an appropriate threat), but mostly be sure to let the management know that they are responsible for the illegal actions of their employees while on the job, and that their employee has just committed assault (assault can be verbal, battery is a physical encounter). Get the jerks fired, and make the companies clean up the act of all the guys they hire. USE YOUR POWER!

Submitted by Mary Beth in the Bay Area

Have a minute? Take a Great Survey!

I love your Web site! I love it so much that my Master's thesis on street harassment is in great part focusing on Web sites like the HollaBack chapters and the Street Harassment Project.

In addition to reading through all of the postings, part of my research includes an online anonymous survey about people's experiences with street harassment and visiting/using the Web sites.

Street Harassment Survey

Thanks! Holly from Washington DC.

Responses to ruin THEIR day

I have found that a great response to guys exposing themselves, leering at you, or making cat calls is to yell "You should be ashamed of that tiny little thing!" Wait till you see their faces! (However, they also get pretty pissed.)

If you want them to slink away, instead of YOU having to, you can SHOUT: "Stop harassing me!" It makes everybody look (good protection), and makes THEM embarrassed instead of us.

Submitted by Mary Beth in the Bay Area

What kind of American am I?

At 7 in the morning, after I've already been working for an hour, a
construction worker calls out "Hey baby." I didn't have my camera, so I flipped
him off double-time and told him "Fuck you."
He says "That's all I get? Fuck you? What kind of American are you?"
What the hell kind of question is that? How much more stereotypical can
you be? How does it feel to be the most typical turd of all time? Another
beautiful day tainted by an ass.

Submitted by Monica in Oakland.

BART

Dude: Hey baby. What'cho doin' tonight?
Me: Obviously not taking a nap with you on bart.


This guy totally sucked.

Bus Tactics

Taking the 14 in San Francisco is no easy task. Not even at 1 o'clock in the afternoon. This guy here will perversely call you 'mommy' until you want to kick him in the face, or get on another bus. Watch out ladies. Don't sit across from this one.

Submitted by Miss Electric in Oakland.