Shameless Creep

Well, this happened to me last year, but it still CREEPS me out to no end, when I think of it. When it happened, in the moment, I was in shock, and the creep-factor of it really didn't settle in until I was driving home *ewww ewwww fucking YUCK*

So, I had stopped to get some gas, around 11pm or so. I was about an hour north from San Francisco(where I live), and I didn't want to get stuck on the side of the road, out of gas and feeling like a dork. After I gassed up and grabbed some noshe from the gas-mart there, I called my boyfriend from my cell phone, to tell him I was home-bound, and would see him soon. I was climbing into my car, when I hear a voice behind me say:

"I want to lick your pussy."

At first, I thought I was hearing things, but I quickly turned around in the said-direction of the
voice, just to make sure I was still sane..that COULDN'T have been what someone said, right? Unbefuckinglivable!

WRONG!

Standing in front of me was this skinny, creepy dude with longish hair, an oversized forest green parka(I don't even WANT to entertain what he had in there) and baggy jeans. Leering at me, he steps into my comfort center and says again: "I want to lick your pussy."

I stammered, "Wha? WHAT did you say?" Mind you, I am ON THE PHONE with my boyfriend and in a public place(ok, it was dark out, but well-lit)! I actually had to give this guy the cajones award of the year for even asking, but still....

Creepy dude: "I want to get in your car with you, and lick your pussy. Can I?"

I still didn't register the temerity of this creep's question, until my boyfriend, on the other end of the phone yells out, "Did he just ask you what I think he did? Who the fuck is that?"

Me: *Stammering* "Uh, some freak who just walked up to my car!"

*I mean, with that kind of offer, how could I refuse, right?*

::::::Shiver::::::

I then turn to the creepy dude and say: Me: "Uh, do you realize I'm on the phone with my
boyfriend? Are you out of your fucking mind....?"

Creepy dude: *interrupting* "Please let me lick your pussy, I want to...."

Suddenly, my boyfriend starts telling me to scare him, by telling creepy dude that he's right down the street, and he's on the way. Before my boyfriend could get the rest of his instructions out, I switch into protection-mode and say:

Me: "You better run muther-fucker, as my boyfriend is right down the street, and he's going to KICK. YOUR. ASS. !!!"

I then started describing what the creep looked like to my boyfriend on the phone, and the creepy dude gets this horrified look on his face and quickly says,

Creepy dude: "I'm sorry, so sorry, it looks like I have the wrong girl...."

He then starts running away, and as he does that I scream at him:

Me: "Yeah, RUN Forest RUN!"

::::Shiver again:::::

written by Le Anne/San Francisco, CA.

Originally posted by hollabacknyc.com on November 27, 2005