Wednesday, September 27, 2006
finishing my closing shift. I was on the phone with my buddy when I
passed some guy who whacked my ass.
I yelled, "don't you fucking touch me, you piece of shit" (which was
the last clear thing my poor friend heard) and he turned around
I've gotten a lot of crap and I believe that the best way to
handle sexism is to make it really unpleasent for the bigot. So I kept
yelling at him and didn't let him get a word in.
By the time I left I had him backing up saying, "sorry, I didn't realize..."
Anyone who is suprised that a stranger groping a woman makes her
disgusted and angry is a sexist piece of garbage.
submitted by Mer in San Francisco.
Friday, September 22, 2006
Every night at around 12:00 a.m. I'd wake up and freak out. Well, I can tell you it got pretty annoying. After the first couple of days, I called the police and filed a report. However, the creep was not stupid. He came at night, I couldn't see how he looked and even if I wanted to I was too freaked out to look outside my window. So, as you can imagine, the police report didn't help much.
Finally, even though I felt like I was going to shit my pants, I screamed my head off at him. I told him I would find him and I would kill him. No Joke. I was seriously annoyed by then. He never came back but if he does I swear I will go outside and shoot his balls off. Too bad I didn't know about this site 3 months ago.
submitted by Alexandra in San Francisco.
Sunday, September 17, 2006
We were riding home on BART to South Berkeley. The train was pretty crowded, and this guy sitting near us was staring nad smiling at us, so we moved a car behind to get away from the creepiness. Not only did we end up in an equally crowded car, but we ended up sitting in the "back" of the same car as the creepiest guy I have ever been forced to share oxygen with.
Hunched over his notebook and leisurely penning entries, this guy kept looking at us, smiling/leering in a way that I can't describe to do it justice, and then hunching back over the notebook to write down whatever sick fantasies he was having about us.
We noticed him get up to get off the train at our stop, and it was clear that he was following us, or at least attempting to convince us that he was. Once off the train, we stalled so that he couldn't walk behind us, and left the station. Out front, we see him standing arms crossed, looking around. We keep walking (opposite of our usual direct route home) and my girlfriend looks back to see whats up. He makes a face at her that she described as "leering and mocking and threatening all at once," obviously enjoying our discomfort. She flips him off and we take off, walking an extra five blocks in a roundabout way home to ensure he doesn't follow us or see where we live.
This occasion was one of the most prolonged situations of harrassment that I have ever been in, and I wish I could have taken this guy's picture. I have never hated a stranger so much as I hated this asshole, and yet we felt powerless to do anything at the time. If I ever see him again, I'll have to make up for the missed opportunity.
Why do men think that two women together is for their sick fantasy pleasure? Doesn't this guy get that he is the reason we try to disband patriarchy? Writing this is making me more angry than I was at the time, so I'll stop.
submitted from Berkeley, CA
One block over from the lovely block that I call home, there are usually a few (sometimes quite a few) guys hanging on the street. I generally walk on the other side of Market St. because this section (the North side of the street b/w Van Ness and Franklin) is so intolerable for a women walking alone.
Today, however, I was tired and hot and not feeling like the extra walking just to avoid these jerks. I headed home and on the way I had one guy sitting on a crate against a closed sortefront yell, "Nice Tat!" in a less than harmless tone of voice and then mutter under his breath an inaudible remark that I chose to ignore. I was carrying three bags full of groceries, which made my HollaBack photo ops pretty impossible.
I guess the first guy set the tone for the man walking in front of me, because he then slowed down so that I would pass him and then said, "Hey pretty lady," and proceeded to make kissing noises at me. Had I been more awake and less thrown off guard by the double-whammy they dealt me, I may have been able to muster up a snappy remark. Instead, I juggled my groceries and got this photo of him.
Its far away, but I didn't want to be obvious about confronting men that know where I live, if you get my drift.
submitted by Jessica in SF
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
My girl is from England and she said “pardon?”, not really sure she heard him right. The asswipe repeated himself and I said to him “OH HELL NO MUTHAFUCKA!!”
It was crazy! My girl and I didn’t even have to look at each other to figure out what to do!! We pushed him back, knocked him off balance, kicked and punched him where we could…..girl, that jerk managed to run off screaming obsencities at us. Both of us were shaking with anger.
I am a middle aged woman now with 2 daughters. I am very proud we were able to handle that ass hole. I pray that our actions stopped him permanently. Women, please remember that YOU ARE POWERFUL!
Originally posted by hollabacknyc.com on August 9, 2006.
So, I was walking from the bank near the corner of 4th and King, running morning errands and minding my own business. The pedestrian light starts turning red, and so, I make a run for it. Suddenly I hear, "Where you running to, beautiful?" Ugh. I snap pic 1 of him doing
his cruise walk. I pick up the pace, and my boyfriend calls through, yet this wanker won't give up, as he keeps calling after me, asking, "Hey gorgeous, who you on the phone to?"
Suddenly I think: "Hollaback Moment!"
I hang up with my boyfriend, and when I look up, this guy is STANDING in front of me! I take a step back, hold my phone up and ask, "Can I take your picture?" He gets weird and starts mumbling about why I want to take his picture, but I say, in my sweetest voice, "I MUST take your picture, so I can remember you. You know?" He says his name is "Anie"(Thanks assclown!), and wants to see the pic. I take it (thanks again, assclown) and show him. He's pleased with the way it looks.
But then, he won't leave me alone. He follows me all the way back to my loft, offers me weed, cigarettes, and then says he wants to be my boyfriend(ugh!), and has now managed to get in the front door of my building, and won't leave until I give him a hug.
I can't tell you how satisfying it is to share this experience, and his pics :) Thanks Hollaback!
- Le Anne in San Francisco
Originallt posted by hollabacknyc.com on February 28, 2006.
Well, this happened to me last year, but it still CREEPS me out to no end, when I think of it. When it happened, in the moment, I was in shock, and the creep-factor of it really didn't settle in until I was driving home *ewww ewwww fucking YUCK*
So, I had stopped to get some gas, around 11pm or so. I was about an hour north from San Francisco(where I live), and I didn't want to get stuck on the side of the road, out of gas and feeling like a dork. After I gassed up and grabbed some noshe from the gas-mart there, I called my boyfriend from my cell phone, to tell him I was home-bound, and would see him soon. I was climbing into my car, when I hear a voice behind me say:
"I want to lick your pussy."
At first, I thought I was hearing things, but I quickly turned around in the said-direction of the
voice, just to make sure I was still sane..that COULDN'T have been what someone said, right? Unbefuckinglivable!
Standing in front of me was this skinny, creepy dude with longish hair, an oversized forest green parka(I don't even WANT to entertain what he had in there) and baggy jeans. Leering at me, he steps into my comfort center and says again: "I want to lick your pussy."
I stammered, "Wha? WHAT did you say?" Mind you, I am ON THE PHONE with my boyfriend and in a public place(ok, it was dark out, but well-lit)! I actually had to give this guy the cajones award of the year for even asking, but still....
Creepy dude: "I want to get in your car with you, and lick your pussy. Can I?"
I still didn't register the temerity of this creep's question, until my boyfriend, on the other end of the phone yells out, "Did he just ask you what I think he did? Who the fuck is that?"
Me: *Stammering* "Uh, some freak who just walked up to my car!"
*I mean, with that kind of offer, how could I refuse, right?*
I then turn to the creepy dude and say: Me: "Uh, do you realize I'm on the phone with my
boyfriend? Are you out of your fucking mind....?"
Creepy dude: *interrupting* "Please let me lick your pussy, I want to...."
Suddenly, my boyfriend starts telling me to scare him, by telling creepy dude that he's right down the street, and he's on the way. Before my boyfriend could get the rest of his instructions out, I switch into protection-mode and say:
Me: "You better run muther-fucker, as my boyfriend is right down the street, and he's going to KICK. YOUR. ASS. !!!"
I then started describing what the creep looked like to my boyfriend on the phone, and the creepy dude gets this horrified look on his face and quickly says,
Creepy dude: "I'm sorry, so sorry, it looks like I have the wrong girl...."
He then starts running away, and as he does that I scream at him:
Me: "Yeah, RUN Forest RUN!"
written by Le Anne/San Francisco, CA.
Originally posted by hollabacknyc.com on November 27, 2005
Monday, September 11, 2006
Question: Are you a bunch of crazed feminazis who hate men?
Answer: Actually, HollaBack-SF is a collective comprised of people who believe in building communities where everyone feels comfortable, safe, and respected. Many people, particularly men, are unaware of the frequency and severity of disrespect and intimidation that numerous folks, especially women, experience in public spaces on a daily basis. HollaBack-SF aims to expose and combat street harassment as well as provide an empowering forum in this struggle.
Question: OK, but what exactly is street harassment?
Answer: Street harassment is a form of sexual harassment that takes place in public spaces. At its core is a power dynamic that constantly reminds historically subordinated groups (women and LGBTQ folks, for example) of their vulnerability to assault in public spaces. Further, it reinforces the ubiquitous sexual objectification of these groups in everyday life.
At HollaBack-SF, we believe that what specifically counts as street harassment is determined by those who experience it. While there is always the classic, “Hey baby, nice tits” there are so many other forms that go unnoted. If you feel like you have been harassed, HOLLA BACK!
Question: But aren’t you worried that your site will fuel the latent vindictiveness within women and LGBTQ-identified folks across the country, leading to a massive witch-hunt and rampant Soviet-style denunciations of countless innocents?
Question: I heard something about your position on antiracism. What’s that about, and what does it have to do with street harassment?
Answer: Replacing sexism with racism is not a proper holla back. Due in part to prevalent stereotypes of men of color as sexual predators or predisposed to violence, HollaBackNYC asks that contributors do not discuss the race of harassers or include other racialized commentary. If you feel that race is important to your story, please make sure its relevance is explained clearly and constructively in your post. Don’t understand?
Question: But isn’t your idea of “street harassment” just belittling another person’s culture?
Answer: Street harassers occupy the full spectrum of class, race, and ethnicity. Sexual harassment, and street harassment specifically, is resisted around the world. To condense another’s culture into vague assumptions about who and what they are is to generalize dangerously about a wide range of experiences and perspectives.
Question: Confronting street harassers can be dangerous. What about safety issues?
Answer: While everyone is vulnerable to stranger rape and sexual assault, studies show that those who are aware of their surroundings, walk with confidence and, if harassed, respond assertively, are less vulnerable. Nevertheless, direct confrontations with street harassers may prove extremely dangerous, particularly alone or in unpopulated spaces. While it is each individual’s right to decide when, how, and if to Holla Back, do keep issues of safety in mind. Upon deciding to photograph a harasser, you may consider doing so substantially after the initial encounter and from a distance, ensuring the harasser is unaware of your actions.
Question: I am a man who was recently sexually objectified by a woman on the street. I think this is reverse harassment. Why won’t you post my story?
Answer: While a woman making unsolicited sexual remarks to a man is certainly conceivable, the power dynamics of such an encounter are very different in a society where women comprise a historically subordinated group. HollaBack-SF is a project dedicated to combating a particular form of violence that designates subordinated groups (such as women and LGBTQ folks, for example) as targets in public spaces or otherwise vulnerable to unsolicited, nonconsensual encounters with strangers. It is thus not a forum for reporting other unpleasantries.
Question: Isn’t street harassment the price you pay for living in a city?
Answer: No, local taxes are the price you pay for living in a city. We would love to see some portion of our local taxes go towards preventing street harassment, but alas, they don’t.
In fact, street harassment is not confined to urban areas. It occurs in shopping malls, cars, parking lots, public parks, airplanes, fast-food restaurants, gas stations, churches, and numerous other public spaces.
Question: So let’s say a man sees a woman he thinks is attractive and tells her so. Are you saying that makes him a harasser?
Answer: Some do not find comments such as “Hello, beautiful” or “Hey, gorgeous” offensive. Many do. Others may find them intimidating, intrusive, or just an annoying pain in the ass. Keep in mind that many women experience unsolicited comments, as well as violent verbal assault, from men in public spaces on a regular basis. Rather than deliberating the “gray areas” of street harassment, treat everyone you encounter with respect.
Question: If you show off your boobage, shouldn’t you expect some compliments?
Answer: Sure, expect them, but don’t accept them! Just because it happens doesn’t mean it’s okay. A compliment is not a compliment if it makes the recipient feel bad.
Question: Sure, but if “the harasser” were hot, wouldn’t you like it?
Answer: This has nothing to do with sex, and everything to do with power.
Question: You’re just a bunch of prudes, then?
Answer: Like we said, this has nothing to do with sex, and everything to do with power.
Question: Street harassment sucks, but it’s only a small part of the patriarchy. Doesn’t focusing on this specific issue detract from everything else we're up against?
Answer: The violence and disrespect experienced daily by countless people in public spaces is a serious problem with real, material consequences. While HollaBack-SF is a project dedicated to this particular issue, it is committed to a coalitional approach and situates street harassment within a larger framework of social and economic questions. Thus, the collective collaborates with a diverse range of feminist, queer and antiracist initiatives. To see what we’re up to, subscribe to our mailing list!
Disclaimer: HollaBack-SF is not responsible for the accuracy of individual postings. All views and positions expressed in posted submissions are those of individual contributors only.
Replacing sexism with racism is not a proper holla back.
Due in part to prevalent stereotypes of men of color as sexual predators or predisposed to violence, HollaBack-SF asks that contributors do not discuss the race of harassers or include other racialized commentary.
If you feel that race is important to your story, please make sure its relevance is explained clearly and constructively in your post or comments.
Initiatives combating various forms of sexual harassment and assault have continually struggled against the perpetuation of racist stereotypes, in particular the construction of men of color as sexual predators. There exist widespread fictions regarding who perpetrators are: the myth of racial minorities, particularly latino and black men, as prototypical rapists as well as more prone to violence is quite common. This stems in part from a tragic and violent history, where black men in the
Because of the complexity of institutional and socially ingrained prejudices, HollaBack prioritizes resisting both direct as well as unconscious and unintentional reinforcement of social hierarchies. Simultaneously, HollaBack aims to highlight the interrelations between sexism, racism and other forms of bias and violence.
“White Privilege: Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack”
“I was taught to see racism only in individual acts of meanness, not in invisible systems conferring dominance on my group.” Short, accessible piece on white privilege and male privilege.
“A Black Feminist Critique of Same-Race Street Harassment”
Focuses on the experiences of black lesbians and the need for black women to hold black men accountable for upholding black patriarchy.
“Mapping the Margins: Intersectionality, Identity Politics, and Violence Against Women of Color”
Considers the intersections of racism and patriarchy, and how the experiences of women of color remain unrepresented within the discourses of both feminism and antiracism.
Thursday, September 07, 2006
Meanwhile, starting shooting those harrassers- with your camera phone!
*Don't forget to keep your safety first while crusading against street harrassment.