A few years ago (2001 maybe -- I remember Ann Richards of Texas had just died), a bunch of girlfriends & I attended a YMCA event at the SF waterfront. After, some of us went to a nearby restaurant for food & wine and ended up chatting with a small group of unctuous but friendly men there. One them was a small-time wannabe SF politician who was running for Board of Directors for the SF-Brisbane Municipal Utility District. I think one of them was a small-time drug dealer (I put a lot of the pieces together later).
In a collossal act of poor judgement (I had recently gone through a painful breakup from a relationship so wasn't thinking clearly), I went out for another drink with two of these guys when my girlfriends called it a night. I had just one drink with these guys, and the wannabe small-time politico guy (let's call him Joe) slipped a dose of ruphenol into my drink (roofies, the date-rape drug). He did it when I went to the rest room. (Another act of monumental foolishness: I had left my drink with these guys for a moment.)
How do I know he did that? I added up the clues later.
When I returned from the restroom I took a sip of my drink; it tasted kind of weird and I didn't finish it. I remember thinking it tasted slightly salty and looked a little bit foamy. One of the guys was older (late 50s-early 60s) and is a local businessman; I don't know if he was in on what his pal was doing. We all left the bar, and the businessman went off on his own. Joe bummed a ride from me. Getting into the car, I felt nauseated & like I was going to pass out. I NEVER get that way from drinking, and I hadn't had much to drink. Felt like my head was hit by a sledgehammer.
He kept trying to fondle and grope me in the car. At one point he had his dick out of his pants. I had no idea what was going on; I was like a zombie, which is so frightening. Finally he kind of gave up trying to get his rocks off and ordered me to drive (in my condition!). He had me drive him up to Van Ness near Sutter, and then he hopped out of my car at a red light. I immediately turned down an alley, parked my car and passed out. Several hours passed, and then I started to kind of come to and wonder what the hell was wrong with me. Finally, around sunrise I managed to drive home, and spent the entire day in bed, too nauseated to move. I spoke with someone at a rape trauma center and we determined it must've been ruphenol.
All in all, I was very lucky for having been so careless. Please be more vigilant than I was that night. By the way, I looked him up on the internet back then, and I'm pretty sure his website said something about his wife being very ill with cancer. What a nice guy.
Thursday, May 17, 2007
Monday, May 07, 2007
Some Advice on Cabs
What this post is really about is cab drivers. I know after a long night of drinking in the rowdy clubs of SF a clean, warm cab feels like the safest place ever but this is not necessarily so. Understand that cabs are leased out to drivers, drivers are independent agents. Some are awesome and friendly, some are just downright dangerous. I have had two friends in the last year who were violently attacked and raped by cab drivers. In the second attack , the cab driver actually stopped to pick up accomplices in the assault. It's horrifying to think about but it's a reality.
Do NOT ride alone in a cab, especially at night, and ESPECIALLY if intoxicated. Don't let your guard down you are essentially riding with a stranger. Cabpool with your girlfriends.
Cheers and be safe San Francisco!!
Submitted by June from San Francisco
Do NOT ride alone in a cab, especially at night, and ESPECIALLY if intoxicated. Don't let your guard down you are essentially riding with a stranger. Cabpool with your girlfriends.
Cheers and be safe San Francisco!!
Submitted by June from San Francisco
Sunday, May 06, 2007
Thursday, May 03, 2007
Masturbating on BART
I was on an early train to Oakland Airport this last Saturday. I was kinda
dazed out, but aware of my surroundings, since I had to get off the train
soon. So, I get this eerie feeling that someone is looking at me. Across
from me is a guy who is looking dead at me. I think to self "oh, we caught
eachother's eye... oh well..." but I still had the weird feeling- I look
over and he is looking at me and "adjusting" himself. I gave him the benefit
of the doubt and considered it an akward moment. But, my instincts wouldn't
quit- I looked at the reflection in the window and saw him masterbating
while blatently staring at me and making noises! I gave the ol' "Fuck off"
look and moved seats. Not only did he continue to stare at me, but this
fucker had the nerve to get up and try to start a conversation with me...
even tried to ask to sit next to me! I told him to go fuck himself (which he
already was in the process of doing) and he still tried... I told him to
"Get the Fuck outta here!". Oh but wait... when my stop finally arrived, I
saw him scurry away from the clear doors that seperate the BART cars- he had
been watching me from the other Bart Car!!! If I had a Camera I would have
broken it in his face. VERY SORRY THERE IS NO PIC OF THIS ASSHOLE!!!
dazed out, but aware of my surroundings, since I had to get off the train
soon. So, I get this eerie feeling that someone is looking at me. Across
from me is a guy who is looking dead at me. I think to self "oh, we caught
eachother's eye... oh well..." but I still had the weird feeling- I look
over and he is looking at me and "adjusting" himself. I gave him the benefit
of the doubt and considered it an akward moment. But, my instincts wouldn't
quit- I looked at the reflection in the window and saw him masterbating
while blatently staring at me and making noises! I gave the ol' "Fuck off"
look and moved seats. Not only did he continue to stare at me, but this
fucker had the nerve to get up and try to start a conversation with me...
even tried to ask to sit next to me! I told him to go fuck himself (which he
already was in the process of doing) and he still tried... I told him to
"Get the Fuck outta here!". Oh but wait... when my stop finally arrived, I
saw him scurry away from the clear doors that seperate the BART cars- he had
been watching me from the other Bart Car!!! If I had a Camera I would have
broken it in his face. VERY SORRY THERE IS NO PIC OF THIS ASSHOLE!!!
Friday, March 30, 2007
Grocery Store Attempt
I go to the Pak N Save at 40th and San Pablo to shop, this time my boyfriend
was wandering about the store when this guy asked if he could get my phone
number at the checkout counter. It was really sad because this guy stank of
drink and it was barely noon.
Submitted by Monica in Oakland
Monday, March 26, 2007
harassment from San Luis Obispo
On March 13, 2007, in broad daylight, I walked the final block to my car alone, after leaving a friend. We were walking to our cars in downtown SLO in broad daylight after leaving our job at the Court. We have had numerous training sessions in personal safety etc due to the nature of our job. I was aware if my surroundings and felt confident I was not followed to my car. However, as I climbed into my van and was setting down my purse with my right hand and simultaneously reaching for the door with my left, a man suddenly appeared blocking me from closing my door. I did not have the presence of mind to take a photo, but I got a real good description of him as his face was very close.
He said “I don’t want to embarrass you but I noticed when you were walking that your slip was showing”. I paused and froze, trying to assess if this was some really lame pick up line or if her was just really stupid to approach a woman at her car, alone and discuss her undergarments. He stood leaning in to the door of my car with his cell phone (black and silver flip phone) open and near his right ear as if he had been talking to someone. As he spoke he held it away from his head. He then said “It’s a very beautiful slip, do you mind if I ask you about it?” Again, I was still frozen and thinking what my options were, realizing he had me trapped. He then stumbled over his words a bit and said”…I’d like to get one for my girlfriend…is it a half slip or full slip”. I looked at as if he were nuts, told him “half slip” and he backed up a little as I lunged for my car door, shut it, locked it and looked in the review mirror. He had disappeared. I started my car & backed up out of the parking space as fast as I could and looked around and saw him no where to be found. He had vanished as quickly as he had appeared. Here is his description:
Medium Build, 5’11ish, 25-30 yrs old, blond/sandy blond short hair (crew cut), blue eyes, looked as if he had been out in the sun, fair skin, no jewelry or piercings, looked “clean-cut” and at first I thought he was a college student. He wore a dark blue/black t-shirt and possibly jeans (but I didn’t get a good look as he was leaning into the car). He had no noticeable accent or anything else distinctive.
I reported the incident to the local police and my job. After sharing this with my friends and coworkers we discovered other people had similar experiences. An article posted today in the Tribune, the local San Luis Obispo county paper, where they have picked up on our name for him “the slip stalker”.
I wanted to log this on your site because the details in the article don’t include the man’s description and leave out some of the details that I think show the man has become bolder since his other incidents.
Submitted by Cindy in San Luis Obispo
He said “I don’t want to embarrass you but I noticed when you were walking that your slip was showing”. I paused and froze, trying to assess if this was some really lame pick up line or if her was just really stupid to approach a woman at her car, alone and discuss her undergarments. He stood leaning in to the door of my car with his cell phone (black and silver flip phone) open and near his right ear as if he had been talking to someone. As he spoke he held it away from his head. He then said “It’s a very beautiful slip, do you mind if I ask you about it?” Again, I was still frozen and thinking what my options were, realizing he had me trapped. He then stumbled over his words a bit and said”…I’d like to get one for my girlfriend…is it a half slip or full slip”. I looked at as if he were nuts, told him “half slip” and he backed up a little as I lunged for my car door, shut it, locked it and looked in the review mirror. He had disappeared. I started my car & backed up out of the parking space as fast as I could and looked around and saw him no where to be found. He had vanished as quickly as he had appeared. Here is his description:
Medium Build, 5’11ish, 25-30 yrs old, blond/sandy blond short hair (crew cut), blue eyes, looked as if he had been out in the sun, fair skin, no jewelry or piercings, looked “clean-cut” and at first I thought he was a college student. He wore a dark blue/black t-shirt and possibly jeans (but I didn’t get a good look as he was leaning into the car). He had no noticeable accent or anything else distinctive.
I reported the incident to the local police and my job. After sharing this with my friends and coworkers we discovered other people had similar experiences. An article posted today in the Tribune, the local San Luis Obispo county paper, where they have picked up on our name for him “the slip stalker”.
I wanted to log this on your site because the details in the article don’t include the man’s description and leave out some of the details that I think show the man has become bolder since his other incidents.
Submitted by Cindy in San Luis Obispo
Sunday, March 25, 2007
Friday, March 23, 2007
Halloween 2006
On Halloween 2006, my boyfriend and friend and I were
unlocking our bikes outside of a party when I felt a hand on my ass.
Before I could even turn around to see who had done it, my boyfriend
had pushed the man down on the ground so hard that he knocked over one
or two of his friends (it was a group of four guys) and hit his head
on the sidewalk.
The guy who had been pushed threw a can at my boyfriend's head and
started to come towards to fight, but his friends grabbed him and had
to drag him all the way across the street. I grabbed my heavy bike
lock, and holding it like a weapon, yelled at him that he wasn't
allowed to fucking touch me. Meanwhile my friend used her cell phone
to call the cops (who didn't answer). The guy made like he was going
to come back across the street, but we quickly rode away.
Fuck all these guys.
Submitted by Megan in San Francisco
unlocking our bikes outside of a party when I felt a hand on my ass.
Before I could even turn around to see who had done it, my boyfriend
had pushed the man down on the ground so hard that he knocked over one
or two of his friends (it was a group of four guys) and hit his head
on the sidewalk.
The guy who had been pushed threw a can at my boyfriend's head and
started to come towards to fight, but his friends grabbed him and had
to drag him all the way across the street. I grabbed my heavy bike
lock, and holding it like a weapon, yelled at him that he wasn't
allowed to fucking touch me. Meanwhile my friend used her cell phone
to call the cops (who didn't answer). The guy made like he was going
to come back across the street, but we quickly rode away.
Fuck all these guys.
Submitted by Megan in San Francisco
Monday, March 19, 2007
Old Story
A few years ago when I was still new to the city, my mother
was visiting. The two of us and one man were the only ones riding the
bus one night at about 9pm downtown. At the last stop on the line, the
man walked up to the front of the bus, then turned around and came to
the rear exit where we were waiting to get off. As the door opened he
pushed past me "hurrying to get off the bus", and rubbed his crotch
roughly against my body.
I was horrified, but I couldn't think of an appropriate response that
wouldn't have made my mother flip out. (She is dreadfully worried
about me and my safety, past the point I think mothers usually take
it.) Instead, I turned and scowled at him as he went down the BART
stairs. He actually SMILED at me as I shot him my nastiest look.
The worst part about the story was the very next day we passed him on
the street in an entirely different part of town. I thought I would
never have to see him again, and seeing him the very next day felt
like someone punching me in the gut. He smiled at me again, and I've
seriously never been as paralyzed with anger/fear. I was so pissed
that I missed a second opportunity to call him an asshole.
was visiting. The two of us and one man were the only ones riding the
bus one night at about 9pm downtown. At the last stop on the line, the
man walked up to the front of the bus, then turned around and came to
the rear exit where we were waiting to get off. As the door opened he
pushed past me "hurrying to get off the bus", and rubbed his crotch
roughly against my body.
I was horrified, but I couldn't think of an appropriate response that
wouldn't have made my mother flip out. (She is dreadfully worried
about me and my safety, past the point I think mothers usually take
it.) Instead, I turned and scowled at him as he went down the BART
stairs. He actually SMILED at me as I shot him my nastiest look.
The worst part about the story was the very next day we passed him on
the street in an entirely different part of town. I thought I would
never have to see him again, and seeing him the very next day felt
like someone punching me in the gut. He smiled at me again, and I've
seriously never been as paralyzed with anger/fear. I was so pissed
that I missed a second opportunity to call him an asshole.
Sunday, March 18, 2007
One of the worst
This was one of the worst encounters I had ever met. This man saw me and my three friends walking towards BART. He immediately stopped in front of us to tell us how good we looked, and asked us what race we all were. We obviously were rushing to BART and as we went down the stairs, ignoring him. He put out his hands from side to side and basically stood on front of us so it as if we were trapped. I told him if he didn't move, I'd rip him a new asshole. Him being drunk responded with "Who are you calling a asshole? I'm not an asshole. I'm being nice to you girls.". As we were going through the BART terminals, he was drunkenly trying to hop over them. I took the picture. How could I not? He was being ridiculous. He then yelled at us until we went all the way to the train. It was fucking annoying. If you go to 24th and Mission, watch out for this asshole.
Submitted by Miss Electric in San Francisco.
Saturday, March 17, 2007
Report these guys!
I too have been harassed by guys at construction sites, driving company trucks, doing landscaping, or otherwise in the middle of their workday. Get their description, note where you are and the time, get a license plate if possible, and CALL THE EMPLOYER AND FOLLOW UP WITH A LETTER. Tell them you will never hire them, will tell all your friends not to hire them (if that's an appropriate threat), but mostly be sure to let the management know that they are responsible for the illegal actions of their employees while on the job, and that their employee has just committed assault (assault can be verbal, battery is a physical encounter). Get the jerks fired, and make the companies clean up the act of all the guys they hire. USE YOUR POWER!
Submitted by Mary Beth in the Bay Area
Submitted by Mary Beth in the Bay Area
Friday, March 16, 2007
Have a minute? Take a Great Survey!
I love your Web site! I love it so much that my Master's thesis on street harassment is in great part focusing on Web sites like the HollaBack chapters and the Street Harassment Project.
In addition to reading through all of the postings, part of my research includes an online anonymous survey about people's experiences with street harassment and visiting/using the Web sites.
Street Harassment Survey
Thanks! Holly from Washington DC.
In addition to reading through all of the postings, part of my research includes an online anonymous survey about people's experiences with street harassment and visiting/using the Web sites.
Street Harassment Survey
Thanks! Holly from Washington DC.
Thursday, March 15, 2007
Responses to ruin THEIR day
I have found that a great response to guys exposing themselves, leering at you, or making cat calls is to yell "You should be ashamed of that tiny little thing!" Wait till you see their faces! (However, they also get pretty pissed.)
Submitted by Mary Beth in the Bay Area
Tuesday, March 06, 2007
What kind of American am I?
At 7 in the morning, after I've already been working for an hour, a
construction worker calls out "Hey baby." I didn't have my camera, so I flipped
him off double-time and told him "Fuck you."
He says "That's all I get? Fuck you? What kind of American are you?"
What the hell kind of question is that? How much more stereotypical can
you be? How does it feel to be the most typical turd of all time? Another
beautiful day tainted by an ass.
Submitted by Monica in Oakland.
construction worker calls out "Hey baby." I didn't have my camera, so I flipped
him off double-time and told him "Fuck you."
He says "That's all I get? Fuck you? What kind of American are you?"
What the hell kind of question is that? How much more stereotypical can
you be? How does it feel to be the most typical turd of all time? Another
beautiful day tainted by an ass.
Submitted by Monica in Oakland.
Monday, March 05, 2007
BART
Dude: Hey baby. What'cho doin' tonight?
Me: Obviously not taking a nap with you on bart.
This guy totally sucked.
Sunday, March 04, 2007
Bus Tactics
Taking the 14 in San Francisco is no easy task. Not even at 1 o'clock in the afternoon. This guy here will perversely call you 'mommy' until you want to kick him in the face, or get on another bus. Watch out ladies. Don't sit across from this one.
Submitted by Miss Electric in Oakland.
Saturday, March 03, 2007
One more
These guys will cat-call anyone with legs. This construction site at 66th and Shattuck in Oakland will get you down, no matter what time of the day it is. Women beware - 10am is never too early for these dudes.
Submitted by Miss Electric in Oakland.
Friday, March 02, 2007
Perv near parrot hangout on Filbert steps
On a beautiful Sunday several months ago after brunching at Il Forniao in Levi Plaza, my girlfriend and I decided to take a walk up the Filbert steps nearby to see the parrots and work off some calories. I’m very familiar with the area and the birds as I live in the city and have done freelance work with clients in this area for over 10 years.
At the top of the steps is a large tree that the flock was hanging out in. We’re smiling and watching them as other folks are coming and going enjoying the birds as well. At one point, my girlfriend and I were the only ones there. It’s then that we notice a guy standing in his open apartment window, naked. At first he walked by the window and I thought...whoops. Ok. Dude in his apartment not noticing he is visible to others. Then we both notice that not only is he naked, he is sporting a boner and stands in the window, leaning on the sill. This is no accident. Wonderful. Just what I want after brunch. He proceeds to stand there gazing at us with his boner fully visible. We try to ignore and enjoy the day, the view and the parrots.
He steps partially behind a yellow curtain or something and starts jacking off. The boner was gone when he steps over to the window again. We decided we had had enough and proceed to leave. My girlfriend shouts up...”Do you do this often?” in an attempt to shame him. As we head down the stairs, we wave and give him the finger.
Well, last Sunday we had brunch at Fog City and take a walk up the stairs to work it off and check for parrots. No parrots, but dickhead was walking around naked again despite the fact that 2 elderly gents were at the top near the tree looking at the view and a neighbor one house over was in his garden working. Apparently, this is what he likes to do on Sunday. We didn’t give him any notice this time. Since others were around, we’re thinking this guy just likes to jerk off in public in front of anyone, male or female. Yegads.
Since this dude lives there, it can’t be the first (or second) time this has happened. It’s clearly a habit. He lives on the second floor of the blue building. He MUST be doing this to neighbors or they surely MUST be seeing some of this. Why haven’t they called cops? Next time we have brunch down there, we’re bringing the digital camera and capturing this asshole on film since neither of us has a camera cell phone.
I’m also going to look into what the police can do about this despite the fact that he’s in his own home. There have to be some laws around standing there flogging it in your window when you are visible to others. Moms with little kids go up there, tourists galore go up there, to see the parrots since all the... Ahem... ‘exposure’ due to the movie “Wild Parrots of Telegraph Hill”. Not exactly a boon to tourism.
Be warned if you go up there to see the parrots. You’re going to see a whole lot more.
At the top of the steps is a large tree that the flock was hanging out in. We’re smiling and watching them as other folks are coming and going enjoying the birds as well. At one point, my girlfriend and I were the only ones there. It’s then that we notice a guy standing in his open apartment window, naked. At first he walked by the window and I thought...whoops. Ok. Dude in his apartment not noticing he is visible to others. Then we both notice that not only is he naked, he is sporting a boner and stands in the window, leaning on the sill. This is no accident. Wonderful. Just what I want after brunch. He proceeds to stand there gazing at us with his boner fully visible. We try to ignore and enjoy the day, the view and the parrots.
He steps partially behind a yellow curtain or something and starts jacking off. The boner was gone when he steps over to the window again. We decided we had had enough and proceed to leave. My girlfriend shouts up...”Do you do this often?” in an attempt to shame him. As we head down the stairs, we wave and give him the finger.
Well, last Sunday we had brunch at Fog City and take a walk up the stairs to work it off and check for parrots. No parrots, but dickhead was walking around naked again despite the fact that 2 elderly gents were at the top near the tree looking at the view and a neighbor one house over was in his garden working. Apparently, this is what he likes to do on Sunday. We didn’t give him any notice this time. Since others were around, we’re thinking this guy just likes to jerk off in public in front of anyone, male or female. Yegads.
Since this dude lives there, it can’t be the first (or second) time this has happened. It’s clearly a habit. He lives on the second floor of the blue building. He MUST be doing this to neighbors or they surely MUST be seeing some of this. Why haven’t they called cops? Next time we have brunch down there, we’re bringing the digital camera and capturing this asshole on film since neither of us has a camera cell phone.
I’m also going to look into what the police can do about this despite the fact that he’s in his own home. There have to be some laws around standing there flogging it in your window when you are visible to others. Moms with little kids go up there, tourists galore go up there, to see the parrots since all the... Ahem... ‘exposure’ due to the movie “Wild Parrots of Telegraph Hill”. Not exactly a boon to tourism.
Be warned if you go up there to see the parrots. You’re going to see a whole lot more.
Thursday, March 01, 2007
the Pee Peeper
Invasion of privacy, to the maximum.
Now this didn't directly happen to me, but it did a co-worker. A hard working co-worker who was just trying to pee.
We had a store meeting at the Holiday Inn on Van Ness in SF. As I was setting up for a employee vote, my friend comes running out of the bathroom, interrupting the Muzak playing in the lobby. "THERE IS A PERVERT IN THE BATHROOM! I JUST WENT INTO TO PEE AND HE JUMPS OUT AND STARTS WHACKING OFF!" We all look confused and pause for a moment. I think to myself "this can't be true" so I grab the funniest guy I know, another co-worker. I say to him "Hey....go to the bathroom. Just do it. Knock on the last stall..." So he does without question. He comes out hysterical. Indeed there was a perv whacking off to whoever would come into the bathroom. How long does he spend there in that hotel lobby bathroom a day I wonder?
We can't even take a piss in peace anymore....
Submitted by Miss Electric from Oakland
Now this didn't directly happen to me, but it did a co-worker. A hard working co-worker who was just trying to pee.
We had a store meeting at the Holiday Inn on Van Ness in SF. As I was setting up for a employee vote, my friend comes running out of the bathroom, interrupting the Muzak playing in the lobby. "THERE IS A PERVERT IN THE BATHROOM! I JUST WENT INTO TO PEE AND HE JUMPS OUT AND STARTS WHACKING OFF!" We all look confused and pause for a moment. I think to myself "this can't be true" so I grab the funniest guy I know, another co-worker. I say to him "Hey....go to the bathroom. Just do it. Knock on the last stall..." So he does without question. He comes out hysterical. Indeed there was a perv whacking off to whoever would come into the bathroom. How long does he spend there in that hotel lobby bathroom a day I wonder?
We can't even take a piss in peace anymore....
Submitted by Miss Electric from Oakland
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
dirty man
Richard is a dirty old man in Martinez. He snoops through everyone's garbage, and if a woman gets too close to him he snatches at her breasts. Most women say he laughs while he runs away. He follows young teen girls in his truck and leers at them with his tongue hanging out, but has harrassed women in their 70's and 80's as well.
Submitted by Sandy in Martinez, CA
Submitted by Sandy in Martinez, CA
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